yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize
