oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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