Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
