Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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