pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
