Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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