She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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