You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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