his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
