i was born a porn star she said
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
