Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
