It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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