singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
God I need to hump something, right now.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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