she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
