apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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