she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
