On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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