After last night, I could never be a politician.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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