help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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