I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
