I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
