She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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