He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
