He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
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