I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
