I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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