That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
they need to just BURY HIM!
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
