At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
