Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize