i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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