Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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