Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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