Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
