I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
