Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
