I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
