I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
