spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
