dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
