you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
