yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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