I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
