holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
