I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
