checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
