Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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