i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
