me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
