Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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