Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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