Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
