That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
