That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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