Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
