I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
