shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
