that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
