if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
