He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
you inspire me to be a worse person
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
