They should really pass out barf bags in church
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
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