Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
