Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
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I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
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What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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