I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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